How can I support my friend in their abortion decision?

Friendship is a close relationship between two or more people who care about and support each other. It is built on trust, honesty, and mutual respect.

Consider this when a friend comes to you:

Within the very definition of the word friendship, lies two words that apply when talking to a friend about their abortion decision.

Trust, and Mutual Respect. 

The decision to have an abortion is deeply personal. A lot of humans don't even feel safe enough to share this decision with one single soul. This is something to remember should you have a friend in your life that decides to share with you about their abortion decision. 

Be prepared to:

• Be a safe and unconditional space holder - one primary way to ensure this is to address your own beliefs around abortion. Have you established a solid connection with your own internalized thoughts around this?

• Listen more than offer - are you comfortable leaning into your friend versus offering advice they did not ask for?

• Focus on your friend's well-being in your conversations with each other - Can you refrain from trying to “fix” whatever they share—even if it feels like an opportunity to do so?
  

When a friend comes to you with this sacred of a share, be ready to honor it by first addressing your own beliefs - so that you can show up with care, and without any judgements.

Some tips on how to support your friend in their abortion decision:

Lastly, the following are gentle reminders that can help cultivate the most optimal experience for both you and your friend sharing. 

• Ask and offer - Ask your friend if you can support them in their abortion decision outside of simply listening. Even better, come up with tangible offers like “Can I bring you some tea and snacks on your first day of recovery?”. 

• Gentle check-ins - A simple “How are you feeling today?” text can go a long way in letting your friend know you're there for them and thinking of them. 

• Follow-up check-in - Just because your friend has physically recovered from their abortion, it doesn't mean they aren't still recovering in their mind or heart. Make sure your friend is reminded that you are still someone they can come to for support, even one week, one month, or more after their abortion.

Holding healthy space when speaking with a friend about their abortion decision is one of the greatest gifts you can give them while they go through this experience. 

Your presence and support matters.

If your friend needs further support:

If you see that your friend is struggling or may need even more support outside of yourself, please give them the gift of a Rouge Doula. We are a free service and you can simply give them a link to our form. We will connect with them once we receive it and help them with more in-depth questions about the medication process and tailored emotional counseling.